In Christ Alone

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." 
Philippians 4:13


"Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always." 
Psalm 105:4


"I love You, O Lord, my strength." Psalm 18:1


"In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

"In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

"There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

"No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand."

Fear and Doubt

I did it again. Tonight I went into work and was scheduled to close with another girl. I was so scared. I didn't think I knew what to do. I was thinking about this before I went into work, and God just said to me, "I've gotten you through other things; don't you trust me with this too?" This was really meaningful to me. But why was I still scared? Everything went fine. It was great, me and the other girl had great team work. There was nothing to worry about. I was thinking about it as I drove home and didn't understand why, if every time I'm afraid God holds me up, I still get scared. Why am I so frightened of new situations? God is taking care for me, He's showed that to me. It seems like I'm not learning anything. Or do I not trust God as much as I think I do. I'm not sure.

And then right as I was coming up the hill to my house, the song "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North began playiing on the radio. It was a great reminder that God was with me, holding onto me, and that He'll never ever ever leave me and I can cry out to Him any time and He will be there to help me.

Ok, one more thing. Anyone else have trouble with doubt? Well, I do. Let me give you an example. I'm pretty certain I want to go to DeSales University for college next year. Actually, I'm very certain. I just feel a pull towards DeSales that I didn't feel for any of the other colleges I visited. I think that that's God's way of telling me that DeSales is where He wants me. At least that's what I thought. I guess I still think it, but now as I fill out an application for DeSales, I'm maybe wondering if I should also consider other colleges in case I don't get accepted or if DeSales isn't where God wants me. See, when I made up my mind that I wanted to go to DeSales, I pretty much ruled out all other schools. My mom asked me if I wasnted to visit Messiah and I said no. I don't know if I'm even going to apply to other schools. What if I'm making a mistake? Last night was really bad. Lying in bed, I just doubted my decision; I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing. I've prayed about where I should go, but never got a really clear answer. But maybe the tug I felt towards DeSales is my answer. I feel so drawn to DeSales and sorta repulsed my all the other colleges. It's another trust issue. I need to surrender decision about where I go to college to God and trust that He'll take me to the right school and enable me to get in. But I'm afraid. Next year isn't too far away and I want to know where I'll be. I want to be certain. I want it all planned out. But maybe God doesn't; can I trust Him with that?

Alright, I'm through. I'm going to stop listening to "City On Our Knees" over and over and go to bed now. Thanks for listening.

Dread, Fear and Questions

“There they were, overwhelmed with dread, when there was nothing to dread.” ~ Psalm 54:5.

Have you ever been really afraid of something, then gotten through it and discovered that you really enjoyed it and there was nothing to be afraid of? I do it all the time. I have something I have to do and I think it’s going to be terrible. I get really nervous, dread it, make myself sick over it. And then it happens and everything is fine, I even enjoy myself. Why was I so afraid? It was fear of the future. It wasn’t really the task that scared me, it was not knowing how it would turn out. Fear of the unknown. I hate that. I try to overcome my fears but it’s so hard.

Here’s another question: Have you ever had something to say, but didn’t speak up? This happens to me all the time; mostly in bigger groups. Someone asks a question, I think of an answer, but I don’t say anything. Why? I’m afraid of what other people think, I’m afraid I’ll be wrong or that they’ll think I’m wrong. So I keep my mouth shut. I let my fear rule my life. And I’m so sick of it.

So why the heck am I so afraid? It says in the Bible that God is the only one we should fear. “The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, He is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread.” ~ Isaiah 8:13. So God is the only one I should fear. Yeah, like I can do that. I’ve been realizing recently that I’m afraid of a lot of people. In fact, I’m afraid of people in general. It’s so frustrating. I don’t understand how some people can be so confident. Where do they get it from? “For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.” ~ Proverbs 3:26. So if I ask to help me be confident, will it just be like, bam! I’m confident? No, I think we have to go out on the limb, trust Him and He’ll take care of us. So, instead of not speaking up when someone asks a question, I need to take that breath and start talking and trusting God to take care of me. That’s hard. Trust is hard. And there are different kinds of trust too. But that’s for another time. I wasn’t to talk about fear some more.

“The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” ~ Psalm 118:6. Good question: what can man do to me? Well, embarrass me, humiliate me, hurt me (physically, emotionally), ignore me, laugh at me, steal from me, you get the idea. But ultimately, in the long, long term what can man do to me? Man can’t make God stop loving me; can’t take me away from Him; can’t stop me from going to heaven or praying; can’t make my family stop caring about me. And if God is on my side, who stands a chance against me? No one. The answer is no on at all. NO ONE!!!! That means man, Satan, demons, anyone in this world. No one. Thinking about that makes me want to laugh with joy. It’s so amazing. And so true. It’s so awesome I can hardly even grasp that idea. Actually, I don’t think I fully can. So then, if God is on my side, and I know no one stands a chance against me, why am I still afraid of people? That is the question I’ve been trying to answer. Let me know if you figure it out. I’d really like to know.