Psalm 86:11

Teach me your way, O LORD,

and I will walk in your truth;

give me an undivided heart,

that I may fear your name.

~ Psalm 86:11

Visual Argument

These are pictures I either drew or that my fmaily took. I have no idea how to cite it-- or if I even need to...

Molesto

Estoy muy enojado ahora y tan frustrado con la gente! ¿Por qué todo tiene que ser perfecto y tan complicado? Nadie puede estar nunca satisfecho y nadie es feliz. Todo el mundo exige mucho y nadie entiende lo difícil que es. Como el trabajo de la escuela, algunos profesores y los padres simplemente no saben lo que es pasar todo el día en el trabajo de la escuela y tienen toda su vida centrada en su alrededor. Ellos no saben cuánto trabajo que es. Y luego están las decepciones de cuando se pensaba que hizo algo bien y resulta que estaba equivocado. La vida sólo apesta a veces.

Candlelight ~ Relient K

I love this song! And it has been stuck in my head the last couple days.

To know her is to love her
I'm goin' undercover
To catch a glimpse but not get caught

But to see her, could be worse
If I don't get my head straight first
On second thought I guess I'll not

She's almost brighter than the sun
Seems to me to be unfair
When you consider everyone
Who pales when they compare
When they compare

Can't hold a candle to her
'Cause all the moths get in the way
And they'll begin to chew her
Entire attire until it frays

She outshines anyone
Whoever might dare to bask in
The same candlelight

Oh please, don't seat us in the back
With all the insects and the trash
She is a lady, I'm the tramp

Collecting stares from pairs close by
Then flutters in the butterfly
You just a moth drawn to the lamp

She's like an ancient artifact
Something you're lucky to have found
She'll pinch the nerves in all the necks
When she turns those heads around
Those heads around

Can't hold a candle to her
'Cause all the moths get in the way
And they'll begin to chew her
Entire attire until it frays

She outshines anyone
Whoever might dare to bask in
The same candlelight

Who may dare to bask in
The same candlelight

She's almost brighter than the sun
Seems to me to be unfair
When you consider everyone
Who pales when they compare
When they compare

Can't hold a candle to her
'Cause all the moths get in the way
And they'll begin to chew her
Entire attire until it frays

She outshines anyone
Whoever might dare to bask in
The same candlelight
In the same candlelight

Does anyone else out there ever feel overwhelmed with life? Like you just want to curl into a ball and sleep 'til this season of life is over? Does anyone else feel like they need to be in control and yet realize there are so many things that are out of their control? Does anyone else pray for comfort and direction and feels the comfort but is lead no where? Does anyone else ever feel so sick of school work and so discouraged when things don't go right? Does anyone else love someone to death and isn't sure if they are loved back? Does anyone else get so distracted they can't concentrate? Does anyone else ever wonder about death and how amazing heaven will be? Does anyone else cry at night when there is no one around to listen? Does anyone else ever feel alone when they are with a group of people? Does anyone else struggle with things they've never told anyone, but are just bursting to come out? Does anyone else remain silent when all they want to do is speak? Does anyone else smile with they are aching inside? Does anyone else compare themselves to other people? Does anyone else ever feel like giving up?

Does anyone else feel the love that God pours down on them when they feel like this? Does anyone else ever hear God whisper encouraging words in their ears? Does anyone else ever feel like they've been touched by God? Does anyone else know what it's like to recieve strength from God when they can't stand on their own?

Does anyone...?

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is almost here. Tomorrow I'll be traveling 6 hours to Massachusetts to have Thanksgiving with my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. On Thursday we will prepare our Thanksgiving feast (and for 20 people we're going to have a lot of food) and eat until we can't hold anymore.

And in another month it will be Christmas. I'll start my Christmas shopping and be thinking about the things I want the most. We'll have more good food and see more family and drink hot chocolate as we watch the snow fall.

But in many other countries, none of this will happen. The people there may never know what it is like to eat a good meal and feel completely full. The people there may have little or nothing is their houses. The people there may be cold and have no shelter. And yet they smile. Though they have nothing, they are happy. Though they are hungry, they are content. How can we, who have anything and everything we could desire, still be unhappy?

My youth leader was talking about this on Sunday. Thinking about all those people in need makes the holidays a little less joyful. It makes me feel guilty. I have so much and I'm about to get more and yet they have nothing. But they have genuine happiness. Maybe they have the better end of the deal.

Math=Fail

Blood and ashes! I am terrible at math! I'm trying to prepare to take the SAT in January and I've been going over the math sections in SAT prep book. Ugh! I'm just horrible at it! My mind was not made to understand math, it just does not stick. And then I'm doing statistics and man! there are some complicated equations in there! I don't know how I'm ever going to get through the book. God certainly did not make me a math whiz. That means that to get better scores on the SAT math section or to pass the stat exam, I'm going to have to reply on Him and that if He wants me to get good scores, He'll help me recall what I've learned and give me the strength to get through this studying!

TobyMac!!!!!!!

I'm going to see TobyMac and Relient K tomorrow in concert tomorrow with my youth group!!! Yay!! I'm so excited! I've waited months for this and now it's only one more day!!!! I can't wait!! All I have to do now is survive another school day...it will be so worth it though!

Writing Block... Already???

Anyone else feeling a little stuck when trying to start writing the research paper? I'm not sure where to begin. We're supposed to cover the history of our topic. Well, mine goes back all the way to the 19th chapter of Genesis! Sure, covering what's said in the Bible is easy but what about the churches opinion of same sex marriage through out history? None of my sources have anything to do with that, all of them are current. Does this mean I'll have to search for more sources and add them to my bibliography (ugh, that was so annoying!) ?

The point of this whole post is to say that when it comes to writing the research paper, I'm stuck. Usually writing reports and things comes really easy for me but I've never written something this big before. From the instructions Mrs. Bell gave us, it seems I would have to write so much more than five pages to include it all!

And then today (or was it yesterday?) I got this great idea for a short story and I would so much rather be working on that. And next week (Monday) my sister is coming home from college with a friend, on Wednesday my while family is driving up to Boston to celebrate Thanksgiving with my Dad's entire family (plus my sister's friend and an exchange student staying with my Aunt and Uncle) so any hope I had of working on my research paper during break seems to be crumbling. There is always the six hour+ car ride...

Goodness gracious! Just think about college!

Acts 5:40-41

"[The Sanhedrin] called the apostles in and had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name." ~ Acts 5:40-41

Wow, I don't think I would be rejoicing that I had just been thrown in prison and flogged. I think I would either thank God I had been released or asking Him to never let that happen to me again. That story is amazing.

Research Paper Bibliography

Bohlin, Sue. “Same Sex Marriage: A Façade of Normalcy.” Probe Ministries. Probe Ministries. 2005. Web. 29 Oct. 2009. .

Dewan, Shaila. “United Church of Christ Backs Same Sex Marriage.” The New York Times. The New York Times Company. 5 Jul. 2005. Web. 30 Oct. 2009. .

Flynn, Father John. “Same-Sex Marriage and the Church.” ZENIT. Innovative Media, Inc. 19 Oct. 2008. Web. 30 Oct. 2009. .

Focus on the Family Issue Analysts. “Marriage.” Focus on the Family. Focus on the Family. 2008. Web. 30 Oct. 2009. .

“Gay Marriage.” Catholic Answers. Catholic Answer, Inc. 2004. Web. 30 Oct. 2009. .

Gilgoff, Dan. “Rick Warren: Stopping Gay Marriage Very Low on Priority List.” U.S. News. U.S. New & World Report. 7 Apr. 2009. Web. 29 Oct. 2009. .

“Homosexuality: From Declassification to Decriminalization. Where Do We Go From Here?” Host Gilbert Herdt. Palm Center. Palm Center. 1 Sep. 2004. Web. 18 Nov. 2009. .

Pilote, Alain. “Vatican Says ‘No’ to Same Sex Marriage.” Michael Journal. The Pilgrims of St. Michael. Aug. 2003. Web. 29 Oct. 2009. .

Pope, Msgr. Charles. “‘Same-Sex Marriage’ is Contrary to Biblical Teaching on Marriage.” Archdiocese of Washington. Archdiocese of Washington. 19 Sep. 2009. Web. 29 Oct. 2009. .

“What Does the Bible Say About Gay Marriage/Same Sex Marriage?” Got Questions?. Got Questions Ministries. n.d. Web. 30 Oct. 2009. .

“Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone; to have a deep soul relationship with another; to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says,
No, not until you satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone, and with having intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found; only then will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with Me.
Exclusive of anyone else, exclusive of any other desires or longings, I want you to stop planning,
stop wishing,
and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you.

You just wait. That’s all.

Don’t be anxious.
Don’t worry.
Don’t look around at the things others have gotten or that I’ve given them.
Don’t look at the things you think you want.

Just keep looking off and away up to Me or you’ll miss what I want to show you. And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could dream of. You see, until you are ready (I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time), until both of you are satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have planned for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me; and this perfect love.
And, dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love; I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you utterly. I am God. Believe and be satisfied.”

-author unknown

I think this speaks for it's self. I first read it in "The Theology of the Mind and Body for Teens" and it continues to speak to me and encouage me. Waiting can be so hard. Especially when friends and finding boyfriends (or girlfriends) and you see couples all over the place and it feels like no one has ever given you a second thought. But God is in control of my love story. He'll bring the perfect man for me when the time is right. And it will be even better, becuase I waited.

In His Own Image

In Christianity, we are made in the image of our God. In other religions, gods are made in the image of people.

Christmas!!

I'm feeling really excited for Christmas. I've had Christmas songs in my head the past few days and I've actually found myself looking forward to colder weather and snow (usually I hate the cold). I'm also looking forward to the decorations and getting together with family and shopping and wrapping presents and making Christmas cookies. I love the Christmas season. And of course we get celebrate Christ's birth, the best thing about Christmas. I feel I've grown a lot closer to God this past year so celebrating Christmas this year feels like it's going to be different, more special. I'm so excited. Oh! And I'm planning on dancing at my church again. This time to a Christmas song, "Mary, Did You Know"? so that's another reason I'm excited. But shhhh! so far the dance is a secret!

The Winds of Halloween

I'm bored so I think I'll blog. There are other things I could be doing, but I don't feel like doing them right now. Give me a break, I was just sick.

Anyway...today it was really windy; I mean really really windy. Our trees probably lost just about the rest of their leaves. It's cool to watch the wind bend the tress and throw the leaves around; I never really understood where the wind comes from. My brother has tried to explain that it has something to do with air currents shifting around but I never really got it.

Oh yeah, today's Halloween. My family has never celebrated it. Never ever ever. Where we used to live we used to get a few trick-or-treaters but now we live on the top of a ridge in the middle of the woods. Yeah...and most of our neighbor's kids are already grown up. So, even if we did celebrate it, we couldn't. Or wouldn't, either way. Our church used to have an activity night on Halloween but they stopped that years ago. I remember going once with my family when I was little and we played games and made crafts; it was a fun alternative to trick-or-treating.

I wonder what I'll say to my children if they ask me if they can celebrate Halloween of not. Halloween is the celebration of darkness, a "festival of the death" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween). The focus of Halloween is fear. People dress up in scary costumes and decorate their yards with skeletons, spiderwebs, ghosts, carved pumpkins and monsters. I don't think I want my children to be a part of that.

Sick

My family went on our annual fall vacation a couple of weeks ago. I had a great time but on the second to last day, I got sick. I spent two days there on the couch and another two days laying around at home. I ate hardly anything for three days and found it hard to eat after that. I still don't have much of an appetite. And I suppose I'm still sick. I haven't been feeling normal the past...11 days. Ugh, it's so annoying. I'm the one that usually gets sick in my family, must be a faulty immune system or some such problem. But I've never had anything like that before. I haven't been going to my dance classes or getting all my school work done, I'm not sure if I'll make it into work on Friday (even though I told my boss I could make it) or to a college visit this Saturday. Maybe I need more sleep (well, I don't know. I've been getting like 10-11 hours each night) or maybe I should eat more. I've certainly done my share of relaxing. I've watched movies, old TV shows, read 300 pages of a great, new book in only a few days. Bleh...life just really stinks sometimes, ya know? Like tonight, I'm missing out on a fun girl's night at my youth leader's house with his amazing wife. Grrrr....

My Research Paper

I don't really have much so say about my research paper. I've decided to change my topic from same-sax marriage to same-sex marriage in the church. The reason I'm changing is because SSM is such a broad and controversial topic; focusing on just what people in the church believe will definitely narrow it down a lot. And let me just also say I was some what influenced by the 'debate' about whether or not we could use the Bible as a credible source. You see, I'm a Christian. Duh, I think everyone knew that already. But I guess I could call myself a relatively strong Christian. God is part of who I am, I can't just not include Him in an area of my life. Thus the Bible is part of me too. If you get into an argument with me, I will almost certainly bring up God or a Bible verse. That's just who I am. I have to write my paper using the Bible. I can't write the paper without it.

Let the Waters Rise

by Mikeschair

I love song lyrics. Goods ones that is. :)
I just heard this song the other day but the words are so powerful. And the song is beautiful.

Don't know where to begin
It's like my world's caving in
And I tried but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here

Sometimes it's so hard to pray
You feel so far away
I am willing to go where You want me to
God I trust You

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach

God You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding on to You

God your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I Don't Kill

This morning I found a chipmunk in my garage. It had been caught by one of our numerous cats and was barely alive. The poor creature lay on it's back with it's legs in the air, breathing short, quick breaths. It was obviously not going to survive. The best thing I could have done for it was to put it out of it's misery--kill it. But gazing at the poor, helpless little animal, I knew I could never do it. Even though death was the best thing for this chipmunk, there was no way I would do it. I wouldn't even know how.
I've never killed anything. Well, except for those mosquitoes I've slapped and the bugs I've accidentally stepped on. But other than the occasional insect, I've never killed anything, not even with my car. Which is pretty good considering I live in the woods where there is an abundance of animals crossing the road and I've been driving for a little over a year.
Death is such a strange thing. Everything only has one life; who am I to take something's life away?
Have you ever seen death? Witnessed a person die? I have. It was this past summer when I had my internship at the hospital. There was a lady in 2Medical who had been sick on and off for a while. While I was there, she coded. The doctors tried CPR for almost half an hour but finally had to let her go. It was an odd feeling looking at her body and knowing she wasn't in this world anymore. It was so strange to know that I had seen her die. Just that morning I had seen her walking in the halls. And then she was gone.
Death is strange.

Night Pondering

I always get great ideas at night. When I'm lying in bed, trying unsuccessfully to fall asleep, my mind feels to awake. And though my eyes are tired, and my body is longing for rest, my brain is wired with energy. I used to be a morning person; I'd get up early before the rest of my family and go to bed before them. But I've slowly begun to stay up later and I see why it is so appealing to some people. I don't like sleeping in though. Nine or ten is fine, but any time much past than is not for me. It take me hours to feel fully awake and it is not pleasant.

I wish I could feel this energy in the morning when my alarm goes off. My first response is to go right back to sleep. It wasn't this morning. This morning I felt alive. I believe the reason was because today, I had nothing to fear. There was nothing going on except for my dance class, nothing to make me nervous or anxious. It felt good. It felt right. I wish all my days were like that. And I come back to the question I keep trying to answer: Why am I so afraid?

I used to worry a lot; mainly about my parents. I was convinced something terrible would happen to one of them. It would hit me especially and night. I used to sneak out of bed and peek at them, just to make sure they were still there and that they were safe. It was miserable. But God helped me through it. Now I say I don't worry anymore. But do I? Now instead of fearing for my parents, I fear for myself. Is this just a different kind of worry? I'm constantly wondering, what will I say? What will I do? What will they think? How will I handle this? What if this happens? What if that happens? Isn't this all just another kind of worry? I'm thinking that perhaps it is. I think I really need to work on this area of my life. Living in constant fear is not really living. I can't continue like this. It makes life miserable and scary. I look at people and instead of seeing them as potential friends or people who are completely neutral to me, I see them as strangers who can in some way harm me(how, I'm not really sure, certainly not physically. Maybe verbally?). And not understanding my fear, grrr! it drives me crazy! Being afraid is bad enough but not knowing why is even worse. And if I don't know why I'm afraid, how can I possibly conquer my fears? Only through Jesus. Only with God's help.

Random Rambling

Wow, I haven't posted anything in a while. I've been really busy with school and work and other activities. So far I really like our AP class. The work load is manageable and not as intense as AP Psych. It's really interesting too. Collaboration within our groups is a little challanging. It's harder to communicate through writing than it is with actual words. I think it's helpful though.

If you are interested in something to read, check out my other blog www.purityforgirls.blogspot.com. It's based off a magazine I began two years ago about purity and on it I have articals about beauty, modesty, boyfriends and when I find the time to post them, marriage and love. A few days ago I updated my blog so I'm pretty excited about the changes. Let me know what you think! :)

Psyched For Astronomy

Has anyone here every studied astronomy? I just started reading a book about it the other day and it is fascinating! I read briefly about the planets and how each rotates and revolves differently and about their orbits around the sun. And then there's all that history about people studying the sky and believing that we are the centre of the universe and everything revolves around us. The invention of the telescope comes next and how scientists a few decades ago developed really powerful telescopes that can see different types of light and even detect radio waves! I read today this section that talked about extraterrestrial life. The author of the book had come up with some really strange creatures that could live on planets like Pluto, Jupiter and Mars.
Everything I read is so interesting, astronomy has quickly become my favorite subject. It's really neat to read about all this stuff then look up at the sky at night and see it. I can't wait to learn more!

Sun Behind The Clouds

Do you ever feel like God isn't there? You don't feel His presence and it doesn't feel like He's listening? I think all Christians go through this. A few weeks ago God showed me an metaphor that goes along with this.

When you feel God's presence and everything seems like it's going fine, it's like a sunny day. The sky is clear and the sun is beaming down. Everything is looks beautiful. Some days have a few clouds in the sky. Once in a while they'll block the sun but they always move out of the way fairly quickly. These days are when you feel God and then you don't and then you do again. But some days are cloudy and the sun stays hidden the whole day. On days like this you don't feel God at all and it seems like He's taken a vacation.

But you know what? On cloudy days, the sun is still shining. It's shining above the clouds. We can't see it but it's still there. It's shining just as brightly. The sun hasn't gone, it's just been temporarily hidden. The same is true with God. On those days when we can't feel Him, He's still there; He hasn't gone anywhere. We just can't see Him. And just like it doesn't stay cloudy forever, neither will we not feel God forever. The sun always shines and in the end the clouds always part.

And some days it can be sunny and we choose to stay inside. We hide in our houses and don't acknowledge the beautiful day outside. Sometimes we may feel very close to God but we choose to let the distractions take our time. We become consumed with the things of this world and let our focus shift from God. Even though the sun is shining, sometimes we forget what is gorgeous day it is.

Hold My Heart

This is another song my Tenth Avenue North that I really like and really speaks to me.

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will You turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father will You run to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart.

So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't see but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?

One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart.

Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.

By Your Side

This song "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North. The lyrics are really powerful and the song has just been speaking to me and comforting me recently. It's so beautiful and so moving; listen to the words.

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Advertisement - Logos

I've never seen an ad like this before; it must be out there somewhere though.

This ad shows a little boy(?) getting sunburned and at the bottom it says "A child's sunburn now may lead to melanoma skin cancer later on in life." And of course the ad is trying to get you to buy the company's sunscreen for your children so they won't get sunburn and get skin cancer. It's definitely logical; who wants to get skin cancer?

Advertisement - Pathos

Just look at the way those hungry children are staring at you! This ad is most certainly an appeal to pathos. By showing children, who our hearts naturally go out to, their scant quantities of food, their pleading facing and hopeful eyes, this ad makes your heart ache for those poor, hungry children. It stirs you and make you want to do something to help; which is exactly the objective of the ad. I'd say their appeal to pathos is very successful.

Advertisement - Ethos

This ad shows James Franco (aka, Harry Osborn from Spiderman) along with some cologne, or at least that's what I think it is. By featuring James Franco, a well known and I assume respected actor, in this advertisement, the company has created some credibility for their product. A customer might assume that if James Franco uses this cologne, it must really be good; and if it's good enough for Mr. Franco, it's good enough for him.

Rain Down

Darn, I had like a whole post typed out and my computer just lost it all. Let me try again.

It's raining. It's been raining all day; pouring, sprinkling and just plain old raining. I'm glad. I'm going in to work tonight after not working for a few days and it will be nice to have a slower night. Not many people come to a drive in restaurant in the rain.

I really should be doing school work instead of blogging about the rain. I have SAT stuff to study and college applications essays to write.

Does anyone here ever get really stressed out about school work? I usually do sometime during the school year and I feel like I'm on the brink of it now. There's one verse that's been really helpful to me, "I can do all thinkgs through Christ who gives me strength." This year I feel like God is more present in my life. Whenever I feel down or overwhelmed, He's the first one I go to for comfort. When I feel lonely, I cling to HIs promise that He'll never leave me. When I'm afraid, I remember that He is holding me up and protecting me. Life is so much better if you live it with God.

Well, that's all I've got for now. I'm off to do my school work.

El Discurso Del Presidente

I didn't read anything about the speech before I heard it so my observations are unbiased.
One of the most powerful parts of the speech was when the President said that even if you are discouraged or feel that everyone has given up on you, don't give up on yourself. And just before that when he said you won't be good at everything the first time you try it and you may have to go over things a few times before it clicks in your head.

There was definitely an appeal to pathos in the speech. The President talked about when he was a kid and got up at 4:30 to do his lessons with his mother and how he wished he was back in bed. It put him at the same level with us. He made a connection with his past and what we as students deal with now. His tone of voice when he got to this part of the speech, how he got quieter, really created a picture in my mind of him sitting at a table with his mother and made me feel almost sorry for that boy living in Indonesia. I guess that would be ethos as well. And it was pathos and ethos again when he talked about his father leaving, his mother dealing with everything else while trying to raise him on her own, and when he felt lonely and like he didn't fit in.And there was an appeal to logos. The President used the examples of JK Rowling and Michael Jordan to illustrate his statement that you won't succeed the first time you try. He also used the stories of three students in difficult situations to show that you can succeed when faced with challenges and that you shouldn't give up.

I thought that over all the speech was pretty good. Like others have said, it was a very good pep talk. It seemed to me that President Obama was trying to motivate kids to do well and not give up when things got tough. It was like he was saying "I know school can be hard and not all that exciting, but we're all expecting great things from you. We expect you to stay focused and work hard this year. Don't let us down." Throughout this school year, kids are going to think back and remember this speech and push themselves to excel because that's what President Obama told them to do.

Fear and Doubt

I did it again. Tonight I went into work and was scheduled to close with another girl. I was so scared. I didn't think I knew what to do. I was thinking about this before I went into work, and God just said to me, "I've gotten you through other things; don't you trust me with this too?" This was really meaningful to me. But why was I still scared? Everything went fine. It was great, me and the other girl had great team work. There was nothing to worry about. I was thinking about it as I drove home and didn't understand why, if every time I'm afraid God holds me up, I still get scared. Why am I so frightened of new situations? God is taking care for me, He's showed that to me. It seems like I'm not learning anything. Or do I not trust God as much as I think I do. I'm not sure.

And then right as I was coming up the hill to my house, the song "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North began playiing on the radio. It was a great reminder that God was with me, holding onto me, and that He'll never ever ever leave me and I can cry out to Him any time and He will be there to help me.

Ok, one more thing. Anyone else have trouble with doubt? Well, I do. Let me give you an example. I'm pretty certain I want to go to DeSales University for college next year. Actually, I'm very certain. I just feel a pull towards DeSales that I didn't feel for any of the other colleges I visited. I think that that's God's way of telling me that DeSales is where He wants me. At least that's what I thought. I guess I still think it, but now as I fill out an application for DeSales, I'm maybe wondering if I should also consider other colleges in case I don't get accepted or if DeSales isn't where God wants me. See, when I made up my mind that I wanted to go to DeSales, I pretty much ruled out all other schools. My mom asked me if I wasnted to visit Messiah and I said no. I don't know if I'm even going to apply to other schools. What if I'm making a mistake? Last night was really bad. Lying in bed, I just doubted my decision; I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing. I've prayed about where I should go, but never got a really clear answer. But maybe the tug I felt towards DeSales is my answer. I feel so drawn to DeSales and sorta repulsed my all the other colleges. It's another trust issue. I need to surrender decision about where I go to college to God and trust that He'll take me to the right school and enable me to get in. But I'm afraid. Next year isn't too far away and I want to know where I'll be. I want to be certain. I want it all planned out. But maybe God doesn't; can I trust Him with that?

Alright, I'm through. I'm going to stop listening to "City On Our Knees" over and over and go to bed now. Thanks for listening.

City On Our Knees

Anyone of my fellow students like TobyMac? I think his music is awesome and I'm actually going to see him in concert in Novemeber with my youth group! I'm sooooo excited!! Anyway...has anyone heard his new single "City On Our Knees"? It is a great song. I love it. It's a bit different then his previous songs but still just as good. It's very quiet and slow but the lyrics and the music are very moving. It talks about everyone coming together and becoming a city on our knees, worshiping God. My soul just wants to sing and I feel like dancing when I hear it. If you haven't heard it yet, you can go to http://free.napster.com/view/artist/index.html?id=11508481 and it should be the first song on the list. Let me know what you think.

Irena's Blog

Is anyone else having trouble posting comments on Irena's blog? And Irena, if you're reading this, I really like your blog and your background for it. Very cool. I wanted to post a comment on your post "Just as Sweet...Right?" but something kept getting messed up. Any ideas what's wrong?

Assignment #1

This cartoon does indeed make an argument. The cartoon shows a driver texting the grim reaper (the angel of death as it is also called) indecating that the driver is going to die as a result of texting. Although humorous, this cartoon argues that texting while driving is dangerous and can be fatal.

I agree with the argument this cartoon is making. Texting while driving causes someone to take their eyes off the road and become distracted. When not watching to road, it is easy to drift into another lane and quite possibly into the path of an oncoming car, causing a crash and sometimes death as the cartoon portrays. Most of those texting while driving are younger drivers who are not very experienced. As a new driver myself, I find it necessary when driving to pay close attention to the road and conditions around me. If I was trying to text while I drove, I think I would be meeting the grim reaper myself. Although many texters are also adults with more driving experience, that doesn't make texting behind the wheel any less dangerous, especially for truck drivers.

Coming Soon!

Oh, and yes, my first assighment is coming. I still need to finish reading the first chapter of EAA (Everything's and Argument). I know, 12 hours to NC and 12 hours back, seems like I would have finished it by now, right? Well, I'm lazy so I didn't. I started it at least. I have my cartoon picked out. It's makes my laugh every time I read it although it is a little morbid. :)

No Place Like Home

I just got back from vacation yesterday. It took us 12 hours to drive from Oak Island North Carolina, to Montandon/Milton Pennsylvania. Being stuck a car with your parents, brother, ten year old sister and two other sisters (one younger and one older) isn't the most fun thing in the world. My sister and I (the younger but not the ten year old) did have some good times. We played chess and were goofy and looked at license plates (we saw Alaska!!). But there were times of fighting and boredom and times of extreme sleepiness. We made it through though. Now I'm back in the real world. I'll probably have to work tomorrow or the next day, I've decided to start my school work on Monday and my sister goes back to college on Saturday. No more sitting around and reading, no more swimming in the ocean, no more taking walks on the beach, no more endless oreos in the car, no more funny cousins (for a little while at least) and it feels like no more freedom. Laying in bed this morning I felt completely overwhelmed. I just felt like I couldn't handle it. I felt stressed. I felt completely miserable. And I prayed. I told God all of this; I told Him I needed His strength, that I couldn't do it on my own. I told Him that without Him I just couldn't do it. I asked Him, begged Him, to be with my and to hold me up and take away my painful feelings. And then I fell half asleep and all my fears and stress seemed to vanish. I felt peace. It was wonderful. And now I know that even though life may be stressful, chaotic, full of unwanted change, complicated and completely beyond my control, I can have peace in my Lord. My Lord who never takes His eyes off of me. Who watches my every move. Who holds me up because I can't stand on my own. Who loves me more than I could ever dream or imagine. Who is always there to comfort and guide me. Who I only need to cry out to and He'll save me. That is my hope. Without my Lord, I would be so lost and to hopeless. I could not live. I would be nothing.

Homeschooler

Ok, so at work today I told some people I was homeschooled. They thought that was really cool. But after they finished exclaining how cool it was, the first things they said were "Do you have any/many friends?" and "Are you going to go to college?" Why is it automatically assumed that homeschoolers wouldn't have many friends? I mean, I have friends. I may not have as many and I would if I went to public school. But although I don't have a ton of friends, I have good friends. And in my opinion it's beter to have a few good friends then a lot of friends you're not really close to.

And why wouldn't I go to college? Just 'cause I'm homeschooled doesn't mean I don't want to go to college. Yeah, it's going to be different but just because I'm homeschooled doesn't mean I can't or don't want to do it!

Psyched!

I haven't posted in a few days. Nothing has really been on my mind recently. Except for the vacation my family is taking in a few days. I am so psyched! We're going to Williamsburg to see the colonial town, then to Busch Gardens and on to North Carolina to a beach house my aunt's parent's own. It's so exciting because I've wanted to go to Williamsburg for so long and we're finally going! I get to stay in a hotel (this happens very rarely so it's exciting). I get to go to a big amusement park (we don't go very often), I get to go and live on the beach for a few days (I love to ocean and beach!) and to top it all off, I get to see my aunt and two of my very fun cousins! It's going to be great! Even the twelve hours in the car will be fun: reading, playing games, watching movies and listening to my music. I so cannot wait. But I've got to get through tomorrow and Tuesday first. Tuesday will be fine; just piano lessons and helping my youth leader's wife with her five kids (it's always a blast). I wish I could just skip tomorrow though. I have to work again. I worked Thurdsay, Friday and Saturday last week and I have to work again tomorrow. It's not a bad job; I'm just tired of doing it and being there. Five hours tomorrow....I'll survive. I have to hope of a vacation to get me through.

But just as the expectation of the vacation will help me be get through work tomorrow, shouldn't the hope Jesus brings get us through life? On the bad days, when nothing seems to turn out right, instead of getting angry, shouln't we look to God for strength? We should, but most of the time we don't. I for one certainly don't. Life is hard. Don't you agree? Life is so freakin hard. But that doesn't mean we give up and let it conquer us. No, we keep pushing for what we know is right and keep holding on to the hope of Jesus.

School

OK, anyone else feeling like: "AHHHHH! I'm not ready for school to start!"? Well,(haha)I am. I was looking at the syllabus a minute ago and there are already assignments we can be working on. Too soon! I go on vacation with my family for 8 days next Wednesday and I am so psyched for it(we're going to the beach!). So to have assignments hanging over my head, waiting to be done, stresses me out a little. Anyone else feeling like this? September 4th is still a ways away but it's coming. *Deep breath* I can do this. More fear. I'm already afraid I won't get everything done on time. Ugh, I did this last year with AP Psych. Dread again. I was so afraid I wouldn't get everything done but ended up doing it all and having extra time. I've still got 23 days until September 4th! Granted I'll be on vacation for 8 of those days but still, that's 15 days I've got do do the assignments!

I'm done with my tangent, got over my initial stress and fear. I'll be fine. But does anyone else feel like this?? ("Can you hear me? Does anyone around me feel that way that I feel now?" ~ Hawk Nelson, Take Me)

Dread, Fear and Questions

“There they were, overwhelmed with dread, when there was nothing to dread.” ~ Psalm 54:5.

Have you ever been really afraid of something, then gotten through it and discovered that you really enjoyed it and there was nothing to be afraid of? I do it all the time. I have something I have to do and I think it’s going to be terrible. I get really nervous, dread it, make myself sick over it. And then it happens and everything is fine, I even enjoy myself. Why was I so afraid? It was fear of the future. It wasn’t really the task that scared me, it was not knowing how it would turn out. Fear of the unknown. I hate that. I try to overcome my fears but it’s so hard.

Here’s another question: Have you ever had something to say, but didn’t speak up? This happens to me all the time; mostly in bigger groups. Someone asks a question, I think of an answer, but I don’t say anything. Why? I’m afraid of what other people think, I’m afraid I’ll be wrong or that they’ll think I’m wrong. So I keep my mouth shut. I let my fear rule my life. And I’m so sick of it.

So why the heck am I so afraid? It says in the Bible that God is the only one we should fear. “The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, He is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread.” ~ Isaiah 8:13. So God is the only one I should fear. Yeah, like I can do that. I’ve been realizing recently that I’m afraid of a lot of people. In fact, I’m afraid of people in general. It’s so frustrating. I don’t understand how some people can be so confident. Where do they get it from? “For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.” ~ Proverbs 3:26. So if I ask to help me be confident, will it just be like, bam! I’m confident? No, I think we have to go out on the limb, trust Him and He’ll take care of us. So, instead of not speaking up when someone asks a question, I need to take that breath and start talking and trusting God to take care of me. That’s hard. Trust is hard. And there are different kinds of trust too. But that’s for another time. I wasn’t to talk about fear some more.

“The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” ~ Psalm 118:6. Good question: what can man do to me? Well, embarrass me, humiliate me, hurt me (physically, emotionally), ignore me, laugh at me, steal from me, you get the idea. But ultimately, in the long, long term what can man do to me? Man can’t make God stop loving me; can’t take me away from Him; can’t stop me from going to heaven or praying; can’t make my family stop caring about me. And if God is on my side, who stands a chance against me? No one. The answer is no on at all. NO ONE!!!! That means man, Satan, demons, anyone in this world. No one. Thinking about that makes me want to laugh with joy. It’s so amazing. And so true. It’s so awesome I can hardly even grasp that idea. Actually, I don’t think I fully can. So then, if God is on my side, and I know no one stands a chance against me, why am I still afraid of people? That is the question I’ve been trying to answer. Let me know if you figure it out. I’d really like to know.

Live

You've got one life, make the most of it.

If you jump off the cliff, God WILL catch you.

If you do it for God, who cares what anyone else thinks?

We are called to be different, to stand out, so let's do it.

Each day you have the chance to do a world of good to everyone you encounter.

Stop waiting. Stop fearing. Start living.

We, as Christians, can't truly start living until we've surrendered to God completely and become willing to follow wherever He take us.
Give up your life. Leave the world behind. Become a slave to Love. Live for Christ.

It may be hard, but don't give up. You may think it is beyond you, but nothing is beyond God. And God is in you.

You may think you're not strong enough and you probably aren't. But God will be your strength.